First Halloween

And just like that...

Five more weeks fly by. I'd like to say I'll be good at maintaining this blog, but I've always been a terrible liar, so it will be as sporadic as ever. But I couldn't resist posting this picture I took tonight. So many new things are happening every week.

You can prop him up and he can stay there. He is inquisitive and his strong little neck rotates that little blonde peach fuzz head around and around to take everything in. The strawberry hairs all fell out and his eyes are turning bluer by the day. He is busy busy busy... always driving the race car: clutch-shift-gas-steer! Repeat! He does pretty well in the car seat, but he gets roasty-hot in it quickly. He talks a lot and makes the cutest sounds. He smiles up at you as you change his diaper. He beams when his daddy walks in the room. When you hold him in your arms, he is starting to make an effort to sit up and forward... the concentration on his face and the grunts of effort are amazing. He doesn't nap well during the day, but sleeps pretty well at night. He first slept through the night on Oct 6th... not every night, but many since. He is starting to notice Ollie. He can reach out for things and he quickly brings them to his mouth. No pacifier for him, thanks, he'll enjoy his fists just fine. Sadly, he's taking medicine for acid reflux, and I'm now forgoing dairy to see if he has a milk allergy, but he is otherwise healthy and happy and you wouldn't know either is a problem by his typical disposition. He still succumbs to the witching hour occasionally, but now that we know that we can better guide him back to a happy place. He really seems to love being outside...tonight as we walked Ollie around the block, he didn't sleep or rest...just held his head up strong and took everything in in sweet silence.

He is doing wonderfully at daycare. I miss him terribly, but I am also glad to be back at work and stimulating the creative juices again. Look at this 17-week-young, happy, love of my life. We are blessed beyond our wildest dreams.

12 weeks

Where is the time going? It seems like my tiny guy just got here, now he weighs over 12 pounds and is almost 2 feet long. Joy! Sigh. It feels like I was in a fog the first 6 weeks of his life, so that's part of it, but I can hardly believe how much he's grown. I was just looking through all the photos I've taken of him since he was born and am a little disappointed I didn't do a better job of setting up the same picture every week to have a visual on his changes. I'm looking at him close range and see the facial changes, but I realized I'm missing the overall baby changes. Not really missing them, just not processing them like you can with a photo. So, starting today I'm going to do a better job of that.

Kirby, 2 weeks old

I love everything about him, but there are some extra special things that take my breath away:

• His breath on my neck when he suddenly gives in to sleep. It goes from flustered panting to a deep sigh. Ohhh, Heaven. 
• When he lies in his crib and babbles and there will suddenly be an Ah-0ooo! of the happiest caliber. My heart thump-a-jumps...what was he just thinking about?
• Sometimes he wraps his arm up around my neck like he's hugging me back. Oof.
• The happy dance he does on the diaper table now (Yes, no more tears at diaper time. It's fun time).
• The sneaky, sneaky grin he gets right before he pees on me (this is why diaper time is fun now).
• The way his bottom lip sticks out when he's calming down after being upset. So pitiful.
• The wave of peace that rushes over him when we go outside. Love that.
•  He turns and smiles at his daddy when he comes in the room. It's the purest grin.
• The grunts and sighs while he nurses.
• His eyebrows turn red when he's focusing on a bowel movement. But the relief on his face after he grunts and strains is priceless. It's like he just figured out the answer to the universe.
• The middle of the night feedings: he will sometimes giggle softly after he nurses or when I put him on my shoulder to burp. It always catches me by surprise and melts my heart.

Kirby goes to daycare for the first time tomorrow. It's a big day for both of us. In a month I'll go back to work, so I'm glad I have the chance to adjust to his being at daycare before I return work. Here's to hoping I am somewhat productive tomorrow, be it exercise or sleep or some house things, and not just increasing the stock value of Kleenex. Let's hope I don't forget to take the first day of daycare photo, too.

Kirby, 12 weeks old

An ocean view

My parents generously invited us to their beach condo for a week, and since I'm still on maternity leave, I jumped at the opportunity. It was Kirby's 2-month birthday, so what better way to celebrate than taking him to the coast for the first time. The beach is absolute therapy for me...there are few places I feel more calm and open and gratefully aware of my life's blessings.

Kirby checks out the ocean

It's too hot and too soon to take Kirby out in the sun, so with the help of willing grandparents, I had time to cruise the shore by myself. What a treat for me after many hours indoors...smelling the salty air, feeling the breeze, seeing and hearing the waves and wildlife, taking step after step in the sand.

It occurred to me that walking on the beach is a lot like motherhood for me. You're never sure if you are stepping on firm ground or if it will shift beneath you. It doesn't seem to get easier to walk on, but you adapt and adjust with each step and keep going. Sometimes you become painfully aware of your lack of balance; sometimes you surprise yourself with your reflexes and stamina. If you are doing it right, you slow down, stop and look around instead of blasting by everything. You might get tired or thirsty or have to go to the bathroom, but you put those things off as long as is possible so you don't miss anything. You will likely experience something special* and wish someone was there to share the moment with you, but you are secretly delighted that the moment is yours alone. This has been my journey so far.

The drive down and back took longer than usual since we stopped for feedings, but overall Kirby adjusted fabulously to everything. And he got to spend lots of time with his Gigi and Poppa as well as with my friends Katie, Pete and Jojo, which was fun. We walked him down the boardwalk a night or two, but I hesitated putting his little feet in the sand and ocean because there is still crude oil washing up in the form of tar balls (Yuck...I'll do a separate post on things related to that). But we got a few sweet photos of Kirby's first ocean visit that I will cherish forever. It will be fun next time to dip his sweet little toes in the sand and surf and experience the beach through his eyes. I hope he loves it as much as I do so that we can share it together. Here are a few photos from the week.

Pete and Katie having fun with Kirby

Relaxing on daddy's knees

Gigi missed Poppa and Kirby's staring contest

My sweet friend Jojo and her boys Jonas and Silas

Heaven packed into one location

*I found tiny, intact sand dollars and baby's ear sea shells (like finding 4-leaf clovers) in the same shell pile; a pod of dolphins escorted me for about a mile on one of my walks; I saw an osprey and new beach birds I've yet to identify; and I saw two stingrays and a needlefish in the surf less than 20 feet away from me. Good stuff.

I managed to catch the end...

of the most wonderful sound in the universe.

Trifecta

My husband loves a good Trifecta. It's one of those words he uses a lot if it's remotely relevant to the three-whatever things that just happened or are lying around. For instance, at night I have a Nightlight Trifecta. These are the three aids that help me keep the diaper change a low-profile event:

I've named them Moony, Smiles and Slugo, respectively. They are my late night pals, and I talk to them as much as I talk to Kirby. Smiles is especially positive when the diaper goes to the dumps. It just so happens I got the Diaper Tinkle Trifecta, and then some.  Somehow with the diaper changes, I'm the one who gets peed on. Jerry gets pood on, so I guess I should be thankful I'm getting the front end. I'm still developing my technique:

1. Lay Kirby down and tell him how fun the next few minutes are going to be. Queue ridiculous song.
2. Have a cloth ready to cover his front goods. 
3. Undo the diaper -- WAIT -- give him a moment to shoot as he feels the full air. 
4. Maintain ridiculous song.
5. Quickly grab ankles, pull diaper back, slide cloth in place over his goods...whew. So far so good.
6. Keep ankles up, one pinky finger on the cloth to keep it in place, slide dirty D off and fold it over underneath his bum.
7. Take care of cleanup with the other hand.
8. Maintain ridiculous song.
9. Pat dry with another cloth to keep diaper rash down.
10. Slide other diaper in place.
11. Quickly remove cloth, aim his goods down, seal the diaper deal.
12. Maintain ridiculous song while kissing his little feet and telling him what a champ he is.

Well, at 3:50 pm on July 23, Kirby had a monster diaper of pee and poo, and my technique had holes. Before I knew it, I was getting peed on from a sneakaround sidestream. Quick, cloth! Not quick enough, but not too bad. So I figure he's already gone, the cloth is soaked, we don't need this anymore. Wrong. A moment later a second stream comes shooting at my chest. WHOA! Quick, another cloth! He got me pretty good that time. At this moment Kirby spits up (blerks) over his left shoulder. Sigh. Allright, we'll definitely be having that bath sooner. And doing laundry, since I'm now out of pee cloths.

I'm finishing up with the backside cleanup when STREAM #3 shoots high and hits him right in the head -- and into his right ear. Ear puddle... AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! So now I've not only been peed on twice, now he's got pee in his head. Oh my goggles... How did I let that happen?! I'm frantically tilting his head back to the right to dump the pee, which sends the blerk running down his left cheek. 

At this moment the pediatrician's nurse returns my morning call regarding the green gook that's coming out of his right eye. She's telling me to apply a warm compress and if it's not better in the morning to bring him in. Gook, schmook...I'm no longer concerned about the green gook -- I'm now concerned that he's got pee in his ear. So I tell her my dilemna. She laughs kindly and tells me it's fine, that urine is very sterile, and I just need to sit him up and rub a warm wet washcloth down his ear. And that when I'm done, I need to document the event in his baby book.

This was one of the few times Kirby was fairly content during the diaper change. Just peeing and blerking his little heart out, I suppose, because he was pretty relaxed. Especially since he kept tinkling up the scene in perfect Trifecta form.

And Smiles just grinned at me the whole time. I guess it is pretty funny now. Still, I'll work a little harder on my technique. And next time wear a raincoat, just in case.

heres and theres

Kirbymorphosis
When you have time to stare at your baby at close range, you notice every little thing. And it seems like a lot changes in between feedings, really...Was that bump there a few hours ago? When did he scratch himself? I don't remember his head being that flaky. I think his eyes are turning blue...Oh look, he has eyelashes now! It's amazing how quickly he's changing. His pictures this week look very different from just a couple of weeks ago. Fascinating.

You've got something on your face there.

Occasionally while nursing Kirby I'll get a bit distracted -- sleep deprivation at its finest -- or I'll multitask a bit and do things like have a snack or check my email on my Ipod Touch. Today I was eating some fresh cherries while nursing him. I popped one in my mouth and turned to say something to him and splattered his little face with cherry juice. It didn't faze him at all, but I'm glad I was paying attention, or I would have wondered where all the blood had come from. He looked like he was ready for a zombie Halloween costume.

The Good Latch

It sounds like a movie title, doesn't it? Well, I'll tell you what -- it's a film I'd like to see. We're doing something right because this boy has gained over 2 pounds since we brought him home 4 weeks ago, but man do the feedings take awhile. Poor tatas. I'm constantly scoring breastfeeding info during and in between feedings. Just when I think I've got it, the next nursing session is a disaster. Again, he's gaining and peeing and pooing like a champ, so I'll try to relax a little. I had no idea I was capable of so much anxiety.

Doody Duty
Changing diapers has become a scientific endeavor, especially with this little boy. It's a dance we do every time to see if we (okay, maybe just me) can keep him calm and get it done. Every once in awhile he could care less and just lies there, but mostly he is sounding the alarm that There are intruders in the house! The stock market just crashed! We are out of sandwich bread again! I feel almost like one of those pit guys in a Nascar race...alright, Kirby's pulling in, be ready to change that tire, dammit, or this could cost us the race! I've found that I make up my worst songs during the diaper change. No rhyme or rhythm, just nonsense. Hey, whatever works.

Did he just say "Raaaaaaaaanch?"
I know, I know, everyone's baby is a genius, but mine already knows how to ask for the house salad dressing. He also calls sheep, makes machine gun sounds, and communicates with wookies. And he loves to make this face:

Such a funny guy already...I cannot wait to hear him laugh.